Treat other people as you hope they will treat you
Behandele andere Menschen so,wie du hoffst,von ihnen behandelt zu werden
-Aesop
Whenever someone reveals information about herself/himself, I listen carefully.I'm thinking..'She/he may just want to make a connection with me or something'. I usually appreciate the trust and it's usually making me feel comfortable to open up as well.But whenever someone tries to draw me into gossipy talk, I see a blinking neon arrows pointing to 'this should be watch carefully'. I always wonder what she says about me behind my back.
With W, a german and a good friend is a different story. I met her few months after we moved in this li'l town, a year ago.Her openness from the start has lead me to trust her. With her,there's always the gave-and-take in conversation.I think we have a fair share of personal views,and or disclosure of information without me feeling paranoid that she'd backbite me, one day.Like me, she gossips,yeah sure! but NON- malicious like stories about people in our neighborhood or talks about the moms we met in Creepers/Crawlers Club (Krabbelgruppe) every tuesday. These talks are rather informative if you know what I mean.
One day,I said 'I met our new neighbor yesterday,I don't remember her name though (Frankly,I'm not really good in remembering names,hehe) 'she seems nice!' I added. I like her,too...Do you know she's not german,she comes from Spain' W said. Uhh, ok! I said. Most of the topic we are talking about is a mutual acquaintance.That's a good thing as I learn more about her and her feelings.This is a kind of gossip I like!
Malicious gossiping is somewhat common to our co-pinoys (There are exceptional ofcourse!) Pinoy gossip is the result of the insecurities & unhappiness (& crab mentalities) and is usually vicious and manipulative. Once I had to say my opinion about someone..'I don't really like her bla bla as she is bla bla' This was all I had to say(I was just being honest).The next time I know it,the new version is leaking,running all over.It's said,that I don't really like this someone because of envy (Que VOOVAAH!)People who love to gossip maliciously are usually uncomfortable admitting it, so they often disguise their malicious act as concern for others.BUT no matter how it's packaged,malicious gossiping is nearly always negative. I have a kind of standard honesty so whenever I hear a person giving a wrong,fictional, malicious story about me. I make sure for confrontation as I'm not a type who sit through a senseless gossips in the corner while licking the wounds and backbite later.As I said, I confront & I make sure this malicious 'chismosa' cries blood (haha,kidding!)
You may take note of these characteristic of Malicious Gossiping:
-- Even if the gossiper begins on positive note,the conversation will always ends up into critique.--the person who gossips usually wants to persuade you in her way of thinking about the gossips victim.--the gossiper is often trying to boost her own ego by demeaning someone else.
